#TRUESTORY
El Ojo Izquierdo
Un día cualquiera de hace algunos años, como por variar, iba tarde para mis clases. Tal vez no le pase a muchos, pero yo aún suelo salir de mi casa corriendo, con la maleta abierta y el cinturón a medio poner.
Apenas llegué a la parada del bus me di cuenta de que había un horrible embotellamiento y que los buses estaban estáticos, pero ni modo, iba tarde y tenía que coger el primero que viera.
Entre los buses que se encontraban cerca de la parada estaba Igsabelar, una ruta hermosa que recorría toda Bucaramanga y que pasaba cerca de donde estudiaba. Decidí subirme a ese bus y esperar, con toda la paciencia que alcancé a reunir, a que superara el atasco en la carrera 33.
Unos minutos más tarde me di cuenta, gracias a una pequeña molestia en un ojo, de que no estaba enfocando bien. Eso es algo normal para la gente que acostumbra a usar lentes de contacto blandos, así como yo. Mi ojo izquierdo empezaba a ser atormentado por el lente, que se había movido del sitio donde habitualmente reposa, sobre el iris.
Fue así como decidí cerrar cuidadosamente el ojo para que, al moverlo mientras permanecía cerrado, el lente hallara su posición habitual; pero este no la encontró. Por eso procedí a cerrar el ojo una vez más, y otra vez, y otra vez, hasta que se ubicó en su sitio.
Justo después de que empecé a ver perfectamente, me fijé en el espejo que hay en la parte delantera del bus. El conductor me observaba con una cautela difícil de describir. No parecía bravo, tampoco confundido; simplemente no apartaba la mirada, como si estuviera esperando que yo hiciera algo más. Lo seguí mirando un par de segundos, tratando de entender qué ocurría, hasta que de repente caí en cuenta de lo que estaba pasando.
—¡Oh, Dios mío! ¡Le estuve picando el ojo al chofer!
Pasaban los minutos y aquel funcionario del transporte público no paraba de mirarme, por lo que comencé a hacerme el pendejo (no podía hacerme el marica porque redundaba).
De vez en cuando me frotaba con rudeza el ojo izquierdo para que comprendiera que no era que yo le estuviera haciendo guiños, sino que había sido alguna especie de basura que se había metido en mi ojo la razón de nuestro malentendido (nuestro, ya tuvimos algo). Sin embargo, él no paró de ver directamente hacia mí, hacia mi alma (y vuela una pluma).
Hoy pienso que, mientras yo trataba desesperadamente de convencerlo de mi inocencia, probablemente solo estaba empeorando las cosas. Tal vez creyó que primero le había picado el ojo y luego me había puesto a llorar por el rechazo. O que estaba intentando decirle algo que solo nosotros dos entendíamos.
No me quiero imaginar qué tipo de pensamientos pasaron por la mente de ese señor, ya que su insistencia era algo intimidante (una más).
Hoy también pienso que, al rascarme el ojo, quizá le daba a entender que lloraba. En cualquier caso, aquella mirada penetrante solo se calmó cuando otro señor con el tamaño de una nevera se sentó en el asiento frente a mí y la obstaculizó.
Al llegar a la universidad me puse a pensar en lo fácil que resulta construir historias completas a partir de gestos completamente inocentes. Bastan un par de segundos y una interpretación equivocada para que dos personas estén viviendo situaciones completamente distintas sin decir una sola palabra.
Entonces desarrollé una buena enseñanza a partir de esta corta anécdota, la cual, considerándome una inocente víctima de las circunstancias, decidí tomar por el lado amable. Creo que la concluí:
—La maricada no necesariamente está concentrada en las nalgas.
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SILLY BLOG
2009.09.20 | Bucaramanga, COLOMBIA
One day several years ago, as usual, I was running late for class. It may not happen to everyone, but I still have a habit of leaving home in a rush, with my backpack open and my belt only halfway fastened. As soon as I reached the bus stop, I realized there was a terrible traffic jam and that the buses were completely at a standstill. But there was no helping it—I was already late, and I had to get on the first one that came by.
Among the buses near the stop was Igsabelar, a wonderful route that crossed almost all of Bucaramanga and passed close to my university. I decided to get on that bus and wait, with whatever patience I could gather, for it to make its way through the traffic on Carrera 33.
A few minutes later, thanks to a slight irritation in one of my eyes, I realized I wasn't focusing properly. That's something fairly common for people who wear soft contact lenses, like I do. My left eye had begun to suffer because the lens had shifted away from its usual resting place on my iris. So I carefully closed my eye, hoping that by moving it while it remained shut, the lens would slide back into place. It didn't. So I closed it again. And again. And again. Eventually, it settled where it belonged.
The moment my vision became perfectly clear again, I looked toward the mirror at the front of the bus. The driver was watching me with a kind of caution that was hard to describe. He didn't look angry, nor particularly confused; he simply wouldn't look away, as if he were waiting for me to do something else. I stared back at him for a couple of seconds, trying to understand what was going on, until suddenly it dawned on me.
—Oh my God! I've been winking at the bus driver!
The minutes went by, and that public transportation employee simply wouldn't stop looking at me, so I decided to play dumb (I couldn't pretend to be gay—that would've been redundant).
Every now and then I rubbed my left eye rather aggressively, hoping he'd understand that I hadn't been flirting with him at all, but that some sort of speck had gotten into my eye and caused our misunderstanding (our misunderstanding—we've already shared something together). Nevertheless, he kept looking directly at me, straight into my soul (cue the floating feather).
Looking back, I think that while I was desperately trying to convince him of my innocence, I was probably making things even worse. Maybe he thought I'd first winked at him and then started crying because I'd been rejected. Or perhaps he believed I was trying to tell him something that only the two of us understood.
I can't imagine the kinds of thoughts that must have crossed his mind, because his persistence was becoming rather intimidating (another one). I also think that rubbing my eye probably made it look as though I was crying. In any case, that piercing stare only came to an end when another passenger, roughly the size of a refrigerator, sat in the seat in front of me and blocked his view.
When I arrived at the university, I began thinking about how easy it is to build entire stories out of completely innocent gestures. A couple of seconds and a mistaken interpretation are enough for two people to be living entirely different situations without exchanging a single word.
So I developed a valuable lesson from that brief anecdote, and, considering myself an innocent victim of circumstance, I decided to take the whole thing with good humor. I think I finally reached my conclusion.
—Being gay isn't necessarily concentrated in the buttocks.

This photo was taken at the Halifax Immigration Museum. I wasn’t actually writing anything, but—like Chief Wiggum (Gorgory de la versión en Español) —I pictured myself typing on an invisible typewriter.
Sometimes, the most honest stories are born from moments like that—pure imagination.
IF YOU LIKED IT
If you enjoyed this piece by Wil, you might also appreciate these three recommendations. Each one explores, from a different perspective, how easily we misunderstand one another, assign intentions to innocent gestures, and quietly invent stories that only exist in our own minds.
The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life — Erving Goffman
One of the most influential books ever written about everyday social interaction. Goffman argues that much of human life resembles a performance, where we constantly interpret—and misinterpret—the behavior of others. After reading Wil's awkward encounter on the bus, it's hard not to wonder what role each of them believed the other was playing.
Decoding the Fundamental Attribution Error – Psychology Today
A clear and engaging explanation of one of the most common cognitive biases that affects everyday human interactions.
How We Make Sense of the World Around Us — American Psychological Association
Our brains don't simply record reality—they actively interpret it. This fascinating article explains how attention, expectation, and perception shape the stories we believe we're witnessing. It offers the perfect scientific companion to a bus ride where two strangers experienced completely different realities without exchanging a single word.
#Humor #Comedy #Anecdote #Storytelling #Autobiography #Misunderstanding #Perception #EverydayLife #Bucaramanga #Writing